August 18th, 2:38am – Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean
The hum of the jet engine is a calming white noise and yet, I can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the overpriced gummy bears from the Boston airport that are keeping me awake or perhaps it’s the emotional roller coaster of the past 48 hours that has left me too exposed to sleep. I feel vulnerable and raw, like I’ve walked out into a biting wind only wearing a t-shirt. And yet, vulnerability is where I find my strength.
I have been looking forward to this adventure for a long time. I am on my way to Ireland to pursue my Master of Arts in Film Production and Direction at the National University of Ireland in Galway. I will be living in the Emerald Isle for a year. I know this will be a life-altering journey, full of wondrous experience. If this is true, then why is my heart stricken with sadness? The painful goodbyes of the last two days replay in my mind like a broken record. I grieve those I left behind. And so, I choose to allow myself to grieve. In giving myself permission to feel sorrow, the pain no longer comes from a place of loss, but rather from a gateway of love. My heart is so full.
I journey to Ireland on a path of creative expression and self-discovery. In order to be fully open to all of the beautiful experiences that await me, I am anchoring an awareness: we are what we create. We hold the power inside ourselves to shape our experiences and create what we want out of life. Yes, there are always circumstances out of our control, but we are in control of our emotional choices. To create something is scary; the blank canvas can be intimidating. But simply taking the first step is where the artistry begins. To chase a dream, to set out on a journey, to take action towards what we wish to create is incredibly powerful in itself. Often, to take the leap is its own reward. Growth starts with action. And so I choose to grow.
Copyright 2017 – Jason Natzke